How to Stop Stressing
Every day, conflict, or event brings new reasons to be stressed, anxious, or worried. They pile on top of each other and overwhelm you. Sometimes you might find yourself drowning in stress without seeing a way out.
I know exactly how you feel. I know that once you let something stress you out, everything else suddenly seems too big too handle. You feel like you can’t have fun anymore because you are overthinking about what you “need” to get done — the things stressing you. Believe me, I’ve been there far too many times, but now I know how you can get rid of all that stress.
In this post I’m going to go over these topics:
Is it actually possible to be stress free?
The 3 Steps to Get Rid of Stress
The 4 Ways to Stay Stress Free
The Results
By the end of the post, you will know how to stop overthinking and worrying about what’s stressing you and how to begin living a life with freedom, peace, and joy.
Is It Actually Possible to Be Stress Free?
It was only the first week of the new school year, but I found myself in my bedroom crying because I was overwhelmingly stressed out with school. This had been a common occurrence in my life; for as long as I remember, I let school stress me to tears. Then the next week, there I was again having another mental breakdown over school. This is when I realized I needed to do something about my stress.
The stress was consuming me and preventing me from being able to live my life. I started thinking negatively, being unmotivated, and eventually hating how my life was. I didn't know how to have fun. I felt like no one understood how I felt; I felt all alone, but I was wrong. The entire time I was overwhelmed with stress, God was waiting for me to let it go. He was waiting for me to ask Him for help. And that is what I did. Now, before you leave because you don't believe in God, I strongly encourage you to keep reading because this post could be the answer to your heavy stress.
Once I reached out to God about my stress, my life was changed. It was so amazing! It was hard to believe that I could feel so light and free. When I thought about school it no longer stressed me to the point of tears. I was able to sit down and get all my homework done with little to no stress. I became motivated, joyful, and free from the burden I used to carry. I was able to start actually having fun instead of always thinking about the school I needed to get done.
My life proves that it is possible to get rid of your overwhelming stress for good.
By taking the following steps, you can start to live a way less stressed life.
(Step 1) Identifying Your Core Stressor:
To start, you need to identify your core stressor. For some people this might be obvious, but others, who have been struggling with overwhelming stress for a long period of time, might find this hard.
Begin by thinking about what stresses you the most when you wake up and go to bed. What are you always worrying about? For me it was school, but school wasn’t my core stressor.
Once you identify what is stressing you, you must dig deeper. Ask yourself: “Why is this stressing me?”. School was stressing me because I was trying to find my validation in it; I had to get good grades otherwise I was a failure, or at least that is what I believed. My core stressor was putting my value into school.
You might be doing the same thing I did: valuing yourself based on how well you are performing in something: work, sports, parenting, etc. A few more examples of core stressors are:
Striving for acceptance. Constantly saying yes to people, worrying about how you look, and trying to keep a good social status can all lead to stress that is based on the need for acceptance.
Not asking for help. You feel like you have to figure out everything on your own and sometimes there is too much to do alone.
Putting too much importance into something. If something goes wrong, then you feel like your whole world will come tumbling down.
Not having control. You don’t have your life figured out which stresses you because you feel out of control.
Whatever your core stressor is, there is a solution to getting rid of it. If you can't figure out your core stressor, that's ok! I have a solution for you in the next paragraph.
(Step 2) Finding the Solution
Once you learn what your core stressor is, you must figure out how to fix the problem. For me, I needed to put my validation in something other than my school. For someone striving for acceptance, they need to find acceptance from God, not people. For someone who never asks for help, they need to learn to ask for help. There are numerous different core stressors that all come with different solutions.
For those of you who can’t figure out what your core stressor is, you can think of your core stressor as putting too much importance/value into the thing that stresses you. Your solution is then letting go of that importance.
(Step 3) Carrying Out the Solution
Once you know your core stressor and its solution, you must realize you need help to carry out the solution. It is NOT weak to ask for help, but instead it is strong. If you don’t believe me, then try to ask for help and see how easy it is. You will find out it isn’t easy, and it takes strength to do it.
When I was crying on my bedroom floor, I realized I needed help. I knew that I couldn’t get rid of my stress alone because I had already been trying to for years. I knew that I couldn't instantly switch from putting my value in school to putting my value in God unless I had help. So, I asked God for help…
I don’t remember exactly what I said, but it probably went something like this:
Dear Lord,
I can’t do this anymore. I need you; I need your help. I’m sorry for putting too much importance into my school. I’m sorry for allowing it to stress me instead of trusting in you. I know that I need to let it go. Please help me to let go of all the stress, worry, and value I have put into my school. I pray that you would help me place ALL my validation in you. Replace my stress with your peace Lord.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
You can use my prayer as an outline for yours. It is necessary that you replace your core stressor with something else, or it will just come back (Matthew 12:43-45). I replaced putting my validation in school to putting it in God. I also asked God to replace my stress with His peace.
Whatever is causing you stress is something you have placed too much value into, and it has become an idol in your life; it has filled a place that God is supposed to fill. It is essential that you go into this prayer completely willing to let go and surrender whatever is stressing you out. You have to be willing to let God have control because obviously trying to control it on your own isn't working. Pray with genuine intentions.
The 4 Ways to STAY Stress Free
Going from living a life under stress to living a life free from it isn’t easy. At first, you will find yourself in situations where stress starts to rise inside of you. At these times, it is very important that you remember you have already dealt with your stress, and it is no longer a problem.
What to do when you’re feeling stress:
Remind yourself what you replaced your core stressor with. Tell yourself you have authority over your stress, and it is no longer in control of you.
My reminder was that my value comes from God, not grades, and that I don’t need to stress because God is with me, and even if I mess up, He will make it all work out (Romans 8:28).
Go to God every time you feel the stress coming back; put your trust in Him and surrender to Him again and again. I had to pray that prayer more than once. Every time you feel stressed, pray to God again.
Memorize verses to repeat. Some great verses to start with are Psalm 4:8, Isaiah 26:3-4, and Proverbs 3:5-6.
This really helped me to rely on God instead of other things when I felt stress creeping in again.
Keep your priorities straight. It is likely that whatever you were stressing about was above God on your priorities (Matthew 6:33-34). Take time every day to spend with God. Read your Bible to learn how to live a godly life. Pray to God in all situations (Philippians 4:6-7). Worship and give God the glory and honor He deserves.
Results
After I asked God for help, my stress went away. I felt so free and at peace. Although, because I am not perfect, I have cried a couple of times due to stress since then, but that is nothing compared to before. To this day (2 years later) I don't deal with overwhelming stress. God freed me from my stress permanently, and I am no longer living so weighed down. If you truly want to be freed from your stress, God is the only way. You can fall into temporary solutions like journaling your worries, distracting yourself by mindlessly scrolling, or using drugs and alcohol to forget your problems, but they will never give you the results you want. God doesn’t want you to be dragged down by stress; He cares about you (1 Peter 5:7 Matthew 11:28-30). He is waiting for you with open arms.
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